Greif As Devotion

As the holiday lights start flickering in the stores and the smell of cinnamon and pine takes over our senses, the pressure to perform joy can feel suffocating—especially when old family wounds are simmering just beneath the surface. This month isn’t about denying the holidays; it’s about standing firm in your grief as an act of devotion—to yourself, your ancestors, and the truths you carry.

The holidays often come wrapped in obligation: obligatory cheer, obligatory dinners, obligatory conversations. But grief doesn’t fit neatly into that mold. Neither do boundaries. Saying no to a gathering that drains you isn’t selfish—it’s sacred. Protecting your energy is part of your lineage devotion. It is not your duty to perform happiness or gloss over ancestral pain for the comfort of others.

This month, the devotion is to yourself. 

You are allowed to honor your grief while others decorate, toast, and cheer. You are allowed to retreat, to pause, to skip the gathering that doesn’t serve you. You are allowed to say: I see you, ancestor, I feel you, but I choose me.