You're Not Crazy. You're Just Uncomfortable

Why trusting yourself after losing daily connection can feel like a breakdown — but it’s actually a breakthrough.

Let’s be honest:

The hardest part of losing someone isn’t always the person.

It’s the daily rhythm you had with them.

That little check-in.

The voice note.

The “wyd” that hit at the same time every day.

Now it’s just… quiet. And for a minute, that silence starts sounding like abandonment — even when it’s really just space.

But space is where we return to ourselves.

PSYCHOLOGY SAYS: YOU’RE AVOIDING DISCOMFORT

Knowing what’s best for you often requires two things most people run from:

 Radical honesty

 Temporary discomfort

Most of us weren’t taught to face either.

We were taught to cope, to smooth things over, to protect peace even if it’s fake.

But true healing often begins when we stop avoiding the discomfort and finally tell the truth — to ourselves first.

This type of thought work is echoed in the teachings of Odessa Lewis Bey, whose 21-Day Thought Reformation Challenge invites women to gently explore their patterns and rewrite the mental scripts that keep us stuck in survival. Her approach reminds us that discomfort isn’t always danger — sometimes, it’s the beginning of clarity.

You may know deep down that walking away from a connection (even a low-vibe one) was necessary…

But that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt.

Your body might still crave the habit of being chosen, even if it came in half-measures.

Your mind might replay what-ifs and unfinished conversations like a loop.

That’s not a mistake — that’s grief.

That’s detox.

That’s your spirit clearing the space for what it actually deserves.

YOU’RE NOT CONFUSED. YOU’RE JUST WITHDRAWING.

Let’s make one thing clear:

Pain does not always mean something is wrong.

You’re just used to equating comfort with safety — even if that comfort came with chaos.

We confuse:

• “This is scary” with “This is wrong”

• “This hurts” with “This isn’t working”

• “This is unfamiliar” with “This must be bad”

But growth always feels unfamiliar.

Peace can feel boring when you’re used to drama.

Lack of contact can feel like punishment when you were overextending just to be seen.

That’s not confusion. That’s your nervous system recalibrating.

BUILD YOURSELF A NEW TYPE OF COMMUNITY

While you’re in this liminal space — waiting, healing, maybe even hoping — you don’t have to sit in isolation.

This is the moment to curate your impersonal community.

The creators, authors, podcasters, and thinkers who don’t know you personally…

but are feeding your soul intentionally.

The voices that aren’t your ex’s, but still say what you needed to hear.

The reels that snap your mind back into focus.

The blog that reminds you your story isn’t over.

You don’t always need a new partner.

Sometimes you just need a new algorithm.

A new soul playlist. A new spiritual download.

A new mirror.

You can create a rhythm again — this time, one that feeds you.

TRUSTING YOURSELF IS A COMMITMENT, NOT A MOOD.

Trust doesn’t always feel good.

It feels like deleting the thread.

Like not checking your phone.

Like still choosing yourself when no one else is watching.

And it feels like finding power in podcasts, poems, playlists —

Until your own voice comes back louder.

You’re not broken. You’re becoming.

You’re not lonely. You’re re-sensitizing.

You’re not abandoned. You’re being rerouted.

This is the part where the world tries to convince you to go back —

to what was convenient, to what was familiar.

But if you hold on a little longer,

you’ll meet the version of you that doesn’t need that text to feel whole.

You’ll realize the absence wasn’t a punishment — it was permission.

Now here’s the real truth:

You are not alone.

Your mind may say you are — especially in those quiet, raw moments —

but sis, we’ve been conditioned to believe that solitude equals isolation.

That’s a lie.

You’re surrounded by voices, energies, ancestors, and women who are walking the same path in their own timelines.

You don’t need to get someone to prove you’re worthy.

You just need to retrain your mind to see what’s already around you.

And if you need sacred space to remember that?

The Oracle’s Garden: A Lineage Lounge is here for that exact reason.

A community of women returning to themselves, reclaiming their power, and rewriting what support looks like — together.

REFRAME THE LONELINESS MINDSET:

Solitude ≠ Isolation. It’s space for recalibration.

Missing someone ≠ Needing someone. It’s memory, not identity.

Not texting him back ≠ Failure. It’s growth, not punishment.

You can reshape your mind to stop chasing external closeness as proof you matter.

Because the truth is: you’re already held.

By your own presence.

By your own rhythm.

By a web of women and wisdom that didn’t vanish just because one person did.

You’re not alone.

You’re in transition.

And on the other side of this — is a woman who never questions her enoughness again.