I’m the One I Keep Choosing

This isn’t a phase. This isn’t a trend.

This is a lifestyle. A love affair.
An unbreakable bond between me and me.

Let’s be real:
I am still growing.
Not in some cute, curated “healing girl” way — but in that raw, sacred, sweaty, sometimes ugly way that requires truth over illusion.

And I’ll be growing until I’m no longer here.

I don’t say that to be dramatic.
I say it to remind myself — and you — that this isn’t about arrival.
This is about devotion.

I made a decision — and I renew it daily — that I will not abandon myself ever again.
Even when it’s hard.
Even when I slip.
Even when I catch myself operating from old wounds instead of new wisdom.

Because the work…
is always working.

Where I Am Still Growing:

• I’m learning that personal relationships are a want, not a need.
  My wholeness is not contingent on who stays, who sees me, or who chooses me. I choose me. Every time.

• I’m learning to use my voice as a boundary, not a bargaining tool.
  I say what I mean, I say it once, and if it’s not respected — I exit, not explain.

• I’m learning to stop proving myself by over-giving.
  Yes, I love cooking. Yes, I like a clean home.
  But I will not be reduced to a role just because I’m good at it.
  I will not offer sex, softness, labor, or care where I am not seen, prioritized, and reciprocated.

• I’m learning that love doesn’t mean self-sacrifice.
  That mutuality is non-negotiable.
  And that if you don’t give, you don’t get access.

Because now?
I give from overflow. I do not pour from depletion.

I used to think healing had a finish line.
That one day I’d arrive — finally whole, finally soft, finally unbothered.
But now I know:
There is no arrival.
There is only deepening.
And I’m okay with that.

Because I love this version of me.
Not because she’s perfect — but because she’s present.
Because she shows up. Because she cares enough to evolve.

This is my covenant.
Between me and Me.
Between the woman I am, the girl I was, and the elder I’m becoming.

And as long as I’m breathing, I’ll keep becoming.

Because the work doesn’t stop.
But neither do I.

And I’m the one I keep choosing.